Weddings in North Carolina

Long ago I went to a restaurant-supply store in Boston, bought four different size pans (the huge one, the big one, the medium size one, and the baby one) and baked my own wedding cake.

They told me the layers are so heavy you have to put pieces of corrugated cardboard between the layers and support the cardboard with little pieces of dowels. Well, that was easy enough – however, after I iced it I sadly realized the cake was not perfectly level.

On the “day of,” my dad, who was an engineer, looked at it with displeasure, said “you need some shims,” and proceeded to square it up. Or so I thought he had, but when I dug up the picture, I saw the re-engineering had actually not been successful. Luckily the cake (which was chocolate with fresh cherries and kirsch) was delicious.

These days, if this happened you could just say you did it that way on purpose!

UPDATE: I am writing about my bake your own cake experience.

I noticed there were a goodly number of vases for sale today at Goodwill Industries so I picked up a dozen for my daughter’s wedding.

I’ve got a year to find some that please her more, or that are more identical, if that’s what she wants – at $1 each I can replace them with a clear conscience. She’s planning to buy her flowers from one of the vendors at the Carrboro Farmers Market.

Today, as part of my investigation of local letterpress printers, I visited Travis Friedrich of Parklife Press. He had warned me he was expecting delivery of a new printing press, and wouldn’t be able to talk much, but I thought watching the operation would be very cool. And so it was!

Here he is about half an hour after I arrived. The lady who sold him the machine had wheedled her friend, a real estate agent (who says: “I can’t believe it, housing prices in Virginia are so good right now, and we have so many wonderful listings, and mortgages are so low, why aren’t people buying?” – my PSA for her…) into driving this gargantuan artifact down to North Carolina in a rental truck.

The old press, which Betsy was selling because there is not enough work to keep it busy in Fairfax Virginia, weights about 4,000 pounds. Travis is installing it in his shop, which is the garage of his home in Carrboro, NC.

I bet he isn’t planning to move anytime soon.

Here is one of the machines he owns, I drooled over it.


Here’s his paper-cutter, manufactured in the 19th century and still going strong.


While I waited and watched the huffing and puffing (it was 92 degrees and just past noon, exactly the right conditions for humping a 4,000 pound machine out of a U-Haul), I discovered a box full of used polyresin plates, and Travis said they were just going back to the factory to be recycled so I could have some. I chose this, for example.

As I explained yesterday, these days very few people are actually setting metal (or wood) letters in quoins backwards and running them through a press. Instead, they design on computer and send the files off to be converted into these polyresin plates.

Travis is a super-nice young man. I hope his business will prosper!

This was my last view of him, an hour after I arrived. I hope he managed to get the thing out of the truck eventually.

Go to his website to see prices and better pictures of his perfect, meticulous work, but in the mean time here are some pictures I took while I was there. You can click on any one of them for a larger view:

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My daughter is interested in buying locally for her wedding, and so she sent me to the Carrboro Farmers’ Market to look for flower growers and vendors who sell by the bucket. The first I talked to was Cathy Jones of Perry-winkle Farm. She was friendly and confident. Her variety of flowers was the most extensive.

See her website and farm at her Cooperative Extension Service website

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The next batch of flowers were available at the Wild Hare Farm booth …


Leah Cook is the owner.

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“Haygroves are multi-bay tunnels that the Hitts use to grow high quality crops like heirloom tomatoes and cut flowers. The tunnels protect crops from the rain and allow the Hitts to control the amount of moisture going to the crops.” (From the Hitt Farm site at NCSU Cooperative Extension Service.)


You can email her: abhitt (at) bellsouth.net

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The fourth and last flower vendor selling by the bucket was Ken Dawson of Maple Spring Gardens.

In general, it’s great to go see the vendors in action on Sunday mornings, 9-12 (here’s the Carrboro Farmers Market website to check for updated information). There are a few small parking lots on Weaver Street approaching the market, so you don’t need to park a mile away and hike like I did.

However, you can’t have much of a conversation there because they’re very busy! If you know you want local flowers for your wedding, call them at a more peaceful time and they can tell you what can be available at your wedding date. Ken said when his daughter told him she was getting married, he knew a year in advance and planted huge drifts of “her” flowers around where the wedding was going to take place. Sigh.

I was in Hillsborough today so I swung by Ayr Mount, a historic site where I have played a number of weddings. It’s within easy walking distance of downtown. A house tour is offered every day at 2 pm but the place was closed up tight when I was there.

There’s a grand, winding driveway up past the gate…

… and there’s parking enough for more than 250.

My daughter was quoted a price of $1000, the cost for 50 people. She also received this information:

Caterers have to locate on gravel surface yet the event tent can be located wherever you choose. Event must take place during daylight hours. And portable toilets must be rented if you have more than 50 attending or there is a handicap need. If it rains then everyone stays under your tent.

There is a handicap ramp into the house from the rear.

We did a Scottish wedding here once and the bridal party processed up this grass walkway to the house, and Ken played bagpipes to escort them, and the little flower girls all had plaid sashes, they were so cute.

Ayr Mont was built in 1815 and was restored in 1985 as part of the Classical American Homes Preservation Trust, an architectural conservancy. It’s gorgeous inside, but they’re very finicky about folks using it. All the weddings I’ve done have been outside, and while you’re allowed to walk around inside, be careful.

You’ll be dealing with the manager, Bill Crowther – his business phone number is (919) 732-6886. He writes: “Our goal is to share Ayr Mount with the public while protecting the integrity of both the structure and the setting, so we are opting to attract ceremonies only with an occasional reception included.”

The grounds (265 acres) are spectacular. In one of these pictures you see a pretty pond down the hill to the left. It’s quite quiet and if it isn’t raining you’ll have a spectacular site.

Why do I mention rain? Because the rainiest wedding I ever played was at Ayr Mount. Some of the wedding party, including the rabbi, got trapped in the house when the deluge began; others were in the tent with the food and with us, the musicians. We played and played and played while they waited for the rain to let up. The chupah got drenched. There was a break in the storm, they rushed out and dried off the chairs and had a very, very quick service, and then it rained again. We were sort of pushed to the very edge of the tent and water dripped/gushed into our instrument cases.

We’ve seen the back patio used successfully used for dancing. One time, though, we were hired to play background music and then contra dances. But the guests wanted to eat and schmooze, they didn’t want to dance. The bride got quite annoyed and actually stamped her foot about it.


Ayr Mount, 376 St. Marys Road, Hillsborough, NC 27278

I’ve seen Carol’s Garden Inn recommended by a number of satisfied brides, but I haven’t visited it myself. There are a lot of pictures on the website, I’ll try to go investigate for myself.

Carol responded promptly to my inquiry; here is the information she sent me, as well as the cost of her various packages. You can see they are less expensive than most alternatives! There are additional perks, check her site for more detals.

General: You can have up to 150 people. We have a covered pavilion for the reception. You will have to rent tables and chairs. We have an outside restroom that is handicap accessible. You can use any caterer you want. Music will need to be turned down by 10 PM and off by 11 PM. Clean up by noon the day after the event.

Wedding and Reception with use of guestrooms day before and the day of, house for wedding party only, rehearsal, 100 to 150 people: $975.00

Same as above but fewer than 100 people: $650.00

Wedding or reception only (no use of the house), up to 4 hours for the event: $500, $50.00 an hour after that. Includes 2 hours before the event to setup and 2 hours after the event to cleanup.

Name of company: Careli Rental Service
Phone number: 919-697-3238
Showroom location: Durham NC
5? round tables seat 6-8: $8.00
chairs: wooden folding $2.60 each, plastic $1.30-1.60 each
6-8 foot buffet tables: $7
tablecloths for above: $11-15
20×20 tent: $230 (notice this is half the size of the others I’ve listed) includes setup and delivery
delivery charge: at the moment, free for orders of more than $125 in Durham and Chapel Hill, $175 in Raleigh
setup/breakdown: not mentioned on website

Shocked at the idea of spending thousands of dollars on a photographer for my daughter’s wedding, I looked on Craig’s List under services today for moderately-priced options. I was also looking for photographers who would provide copyright-free cds/dvds of the digital images.

Success! Note that I have not met or spoken with any of the photo studio folks below, but I liked the images on their websites. Each of them has a relatively low-cost package which includes a cd of your images so you can print away to your heart’s content.

I’ve decided that from now on I will feature on this blog only photographers with wedding options under $2,000 which include a cd/dvd of images which can be printed freely by the customer. If you qualify, or know a good photographer who does, please be in touch with me!

• Bennett Weddings

  Don’t let some photographer own all your wedding pictures, charging you exorbitant prices every time you want to print one! With my wedding packages, YOU OWN ALL THE PHOTOS – You can print as many as you want, whenever you want!

  I came to wedding photography through my experiences as a photojournalist. Twelve years in the newspaper business taught me to see things differently – and that comes through in my wedding photos.

  Ceremony & Reception Coverage (5 hours) $800

• Carl Johnson Photography

  Warning: Flash and automatic music

  Wedding special: Up to 3 hours of wedding coverage plus (limited time) free engagement session
  250+ images on a cd: $545 (regularly $629)

• Infantino Photography

  Photography Packages include “The Ruby” – 3 hours of photography coverage, over 250 images taken, high Resolution photo CD of all images (you receive copyrights to print all photos on CD) = $500. Additional Hour of Photography – $105.00

• Robert F. Filcsik Photography

  Warning: Flash and automatic music

  I like his images very much. He says “Offering modern and creative photojournalistic style photography at an affordable price. Wedding packages start at $600. 4 Hours coverage, including CD with edited high resolution images and the copyrights for all images.” The number of images is quite limited, however.

• Andrew Gloc Photography

  Gloc appears to be a newcomer to the business; he doesn’t have much of a wedding portfolio, but I liked the images I saw. He says: “I charge $299 for 4 hours of shooting including a cd of all images.”

This past week I went to a luncheon given by the local “Perfect Wedding Guide” folks, and I met many wedding vendors. One group I was very taken with: the people who can actually do the marrying. I met four of them and they were all friendly, smart, relaxed, and definitely people I’d be happy to spend time with. They are flexible, inter-denominational, non-judgmental folks. In the order I met them…

1. Christopher and Catherine Sanford. They say at their website:
   

   Chris and Kay work with couples to create and conduct individualized non-traditional weddings to emphasize your connection with your families and friends… We work with you to deal with [issues such as]:

   1. “We are actually already married.”

   2. “One of us or both have children. How do we include them in the wedding?”
   3. “We come from different religions (or cultures). How do we honor both?”
   4. “We have a very limited budget. We’re straining to pay for our wedding.”

2. Ron Grillo. He writes:
   

   I’m an ordained nondenominational interfaith officiant, a graduate of The New Seminary in 1994… I have performed a variety of different wedding ceremonies, including, but not limited to, Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Interfaith, Non-traditional, Medieval, Native American, Civil and Renewal of Vows. Depending on a couple’s wishes, I have incorporated into my opening and/or closing words, or their vows, wording from their native language, such as Hebrew, Turkish, Russian, Spanish…

3. Robin Renteria. She gave the keynote address on “The Five Languages of Love” and was sweet and funny. She writes:
   

   I’m a seminary educated, ordained non-denominational U.U. minister.

   I offer religious, interfaith, spiritual, and civil ceremonies, both traditional and contemporary, in the language of your beliefs and traditions.

   Whatever your faith, culture, life style, or traditions, it’s my joy to help you relax and enjoy your wedding, by creating a ceremony that is unique and personal to you…

My daughter is approaching the wedding dress challenge from all directions. She is checking out thrift stores (remember, I just saw TEN wedding dresses in the Goodwill near here!)…

She’s talking with a local seamstress… and she’s trying her hand at sewing, too. I sent her a halter-top pattern I’ve been saving for thirty years and she sewed a prototype she likes quite a bit.

Then yesterday I got this email from her:

Oops, I just bought a dress on ebay. It just happened – perhaps we might say, se me compro el vestido? (“The dress bought itself to me.”) … I am going to be a 12-dress bride if I am not careful.

Cost of this find, “MES AMI Stunning White Beaded Lace Gown” ? $24.99.

I eat at Saladelias a couple times a month – their food is fresh and beautiful and the people who work there are sweet and helpful. I’ve played at weddings catered by Saladelia and the food is just as good. Highly recommended! Here’s the Saladelia Catering menu.

Actually, I first saw these paddle fans when I went down to Alabama for the first annual national Sacred Harp Singing Convention, probably in 1979. Some friends and I hopped in a VW beetle and rolled down from Boston! It was the first time I’d ever seen a cotton field! It was the first time I experienced Chick-Fil-E! Or barbeque of an entire animal!

We visited some small non-airconditioned churches (in fact some did not have indoor plumbing, they had instead a “Men’s Trail” and a “Lady’s Trail”). Many of the parishioners were vigorously operating personal fans with Jesus on them. (Some had ads for funeral homes on them, savvy advertising considering the average age of those in attendance.)

I’d never seen such a thing but I certainly wished *I* had one too…

So I was pretty thrilled when we showed up to play at a wedding way out in the country, in a tent out under the blistering June sun, and were handed these! Of course, you can’t hold a fan and play the fiddle at the same time, but I liked this wedding souvenir so much I’ve kept it for nine years.

I wonder if they were hand-made? They are laminated, very stiff cardboard, with the paddle glued on the back (that’s better than staples for sure).

There are many sources on line, here are some examples (I haven’t dealt with them, so not recommendations):
Inkhead.com
U.S. Imprints.com
Hand Fan Factory
Hand Fans Direct

Some will do a minimum as low as 130. Some will do full-color as part of the base price, but at some places you pay extra set-up etc. for each separate color (these places are obviously using real printing presses rather than ink-jet printers). Watch out for the weight of the stock – I would say 16 point is a minimum and more is better.

The fan I pictured here is laminated. I’m not sure who does that. Anyway, I’ve seen these fans at a few more weddings and think they’re a great idea.

Since I said Torero’s (see below) is on the gringo-friendly end of the spectrum of Mexican restaurants in the Triangle, I thought I’d put in a word for my current favorite on the other end – Super Taqueria on Roxboro Road.

I learned about it from a great local food blog, Carpe Durham. From their post about Super Taqueria:

Super Taqueria on Roxboro has everything one could ask for in a taqueria: salsa bar, licuado station, special weekend soups and ceviche, and a big screen TV playing Univision. The decor is also especially upscale when compared to Durham’s other taquerias, sporting a nice paint job and prints of vaguely Florentine landscapes.

We especially loved the gorditas de pollo. If you are rolling your eyes now, that is understandable; many taquerias fill their tacos and gorditas de pollo with limp chicken in a boring sauce. Not Super Taqueria; they cook little chopped bits of chicken on a grill so that they are caramelized and flavorful. Their gordita shells are also perfect–crispy on the very edges, chewy a little farther in, doughy in the very middle, and not greasy at all.

The people are friendly, there are wonderful salad things on the salsa bar, it’s inexpensive, and the steak in the tacos de asado is fabulously good. I don’t know if they cater but if they did, I’d press my daughter to choose them.

If you are visiting Spartacus (see previous post) to sample their catering menu, why not walk across the parking lot and try Torero’s Mexican restaurant?

I eat at Torero’s restaurant every week – the people are friendly, the food is tasty and the portions are generous. It’s not as hard-core as some of my other favorite Mexican restaurants, I don’t think you can order tongue or head tacos here, but that’s not what most non-Mexican brides are looking for, anyway…

They have a great looking truck they take to catering gigs.

Here is the Torero’s catering menu. The owner is friendly, attentive, and responsible.

Here is the catering menu of Spartacus restaurant. My family loves Greek food and has patronized this restaurant for years.

Of their buffet items, I’m particularly fond of the Greek salad, the “Angel Hair Mediterranean,” the gyros with tsadziki (don’t miss the tsadziki), and the chicken. On the other hand, sadly, on our last two visits the spanakopita, which used to be wonderful, was sort of soggy and the pita was not completely fresh.

In general – you should be aware that caterers often resort to freezing – and sometimes re-freezing – their foods. Some foods can tolerate that and others can’t. There is a local kosher caterer who serves pita I would throw out if it were in my refrigerator, blegh! Perhaps you can specify something about this in your contract.

First off, I’m not a fan of cut flowers in general. They’re expensive and ephemeral.

Ephemeral, that’s the part that gets me – cut flowers start out beautiful and then wither and rot while you wrestle with your distress about throwing them out. And it makes you think about life and death, and then, what a waste it was to cut them when they were so pretty in the field etc…

I get it about beautiful wedding bouquets – they’re pretty and worth it, and I won’t try to convince my daughter to carry sticks or balloons down the aisle instead. But what’s with giant floral arrangements on the tables at the reception? Not only is it expensive, but people want to take the vases and put them on the floor so they can see the guests across the table and talk to them!

So if they get in the way and they’re expensive, why not skip them altogether? This is how, as a young wife, I had the brainstorm that Thanksgiving dinner would be far more relaxed and enjoyable if I simply did not cook or provide foods which are traditional but which nobody likes. Bingo! Everybody stuffs themselves on the things they DO like, and happiness prevails.

I bet you could find a better use for the money you could save on all those fancy flowers you don’t have to buy.

My daughter pointed me to some cute, stylish wedding blogs this morning and one thing that caught my eye as I browsed was odd alternatives to flower arrangements for the table. I’ll probably post more of them later (when I’m trying to convince my daughter out of table flowers) but here are some ideas which perplexed me.

I called a lot more companies than this, but these are the ones who would actually talk to me. Some said they’d call me back – if they do, I’ll add them to the list. Problem calls:

• Ultimate Party (in Burlington) has an unfortunate infinite loop on the answering machine, they won’t be getting much business.

• General Rental Center in Durham has only one person who will give quotes and she is rarely in the office.
• Several seemed to be out of business, at least their phones were disconnected.

All these rental companies request as much advance notice as possible. They are often booked a year in advance; however, you can often be accommodated on much shorter notice. Spring and fall are the busy seasons. Confirm all prices!

Name of company: American Party Rental
Phone number: 919-544-1555
Showroom location: 3633 South Alston Avenue DurhamNC
5′ round tables seat 6-8: $8.00
tablecloths for above: polyester $15, dressier aruond $20
chairs: wooden folding $3 each, plastic $1.75-2.00 each
6-8 foot buffet tables: $7, $8
tablecloths for above: poly blend, $8.50
20×40 tent: $440 (800 sq feet, dining for 64 fills it completely) includes setup and delivery
delivery charge? starts at $60-75
setup/breakdown: $1 per chair, $2 per table (usually caterers do it, they say)
payment: ½ on booking, remainder
comments: they urge use of their website to build a quote. They also can supply your caterer’s needs (dishes, ovens, etc.)

Name of company: Best Rent All
Phone number: 919-286-3708 extension #2
Showroom location: 2410 Guess Road, Durham NC
5′ round tables seat 6-8: $8.50
tablecloths for above: $8.25, polyester only, but they have a few cotton ones
chairs: resin, padded seats: $3.25 each. Wooden ones are same price.
6-8 foot buffet tables: $8.00
tablecloths for above: $8.50
20×40 tent:$340 includes setup and delivery
delivery charge? $50 Durham, $75 Chapel Hill, $85 Raleigh
setup/breakdown: $1.20 per table, 35 cents per chair
payment: 50% on booking, rest due two weeks before event and is non-refundable at that point.

Name of company: General Rental Center
Phone number: 919-383-6186
Showroom location: 3512 Wortham Street, Durham NC
5′ round tables seat 6-8: $8.50
tablecloths for above: polyester $8, poly/cotton same price
chairs: white wood $3.00
6-8 foot buffet tables: $8.00
tablecloths for above: $8.00
20×40 tent: $330 includes setup and delivery
delivery charge? starts at $70
setup/breakdown: $1.50 per table, 20 cents per chair
payment: 50% at booking, rest on the day of, or preferably the day before.

Name of company: SCI party rentals
Phone number: 919-942-3500
Showroom location: 1705 Legion Road, Chapel Hill
5′ round tables seat 6-8: $10
tablecloths for above: $10 (cotton)
chairs: white resin, $3.45; brown plastic, $1.50
6-8 foot buffet tables: $10
tablecloths for above: $10
20×40 tent: $450 includes delivery and setup
delivery charge? $150 includes setup
payment: no deposit, but they hold your credit card #.

Name of company: Tent Rental Company
Phone number: 336-226-2650
Showroom location: 319 North Main Street, Burlington NC
20×40 tent: $400
delivery charge: starts at $50; $5 a one-way mile from their location in Burlington

Name of company: Party Rentals by Lisa
Phone number: 336-273-3814
Showroom location: 2643 Randleman Road, Greensboro
5′ round tables seat 6-8: $8
tablecloths for above: $9 polyester; has satin, etc. too
chairs: black plastic $1.25, white $2.00, white wood $3.50 each
6-8 foot buffet tables: $8
tablecloths for above: $9
20×40 tent: $400
delivery charge: in Greensboro, $50 includes setup/breakdown. To Chapel Hill, $100
payment: 50% on booking, the rest due 2 weeks before the event.

Name of company: Careli Rental Service
Phone number: 919-697-3238
Showroom location: Durham NC
5? round tables seat 6-8: $8.00
chairs: wooden folding $2.60 each, plastic $1.30-1.60 each
6-8 foot buffet tables: $7
tablecloths for above: $11-15
20×20 tent: $230 (notice this is half the size of the others I’ve listed) includes setup and delivery
delivery charge: at the moment, free for orders of more than $125 in Durham and Chapel Hill, $175 in Raleigh
setup/breakdown: not mentioned on website

The hopeful customers: my daughter and me. She’s been planning a modest (well, maybe not austere, but hopefully not luxury-priced) wedding and is researching, of course, on the internet, since she’s in California but is marrying here in North Carolina. Well, she’ll need a beautiful delicious wedding cake, right?

Anyway, she came across a high-class (apparently) cake baker and sent me a link to his site. We agree – his site is so arrogant and annoying we won’t consider contacting him.

What’s not to like? Check out this language from his website:

We invite you and one (1) guest to one complimentary cake tasting/consultation, by appointment, to sample our cakes and review our portfolio. We also request that the person who will make the final decision for your wedding cake be present at the tasting. Additional tastings are limited to weekdays, for a fee, and are subject to availability.

As a courtesy, we request a minimum of 48 hours notice should you need to cancel your appointment. If notice of an appointment cancellation or an appointment reschedule is not confirmed within 48 hours, and a revised appointment is requested, then a $25.00 tasting charge will be incurred.

At the conclusion of your consultation, we will provide you with an estimate of projected costs.

Consultations last for approximately one (1) hour and can be scheduled Tuesday through Saturday from 10:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. Prior to our meeting, we request that you have an event site, caterer and florist secured with deposits, as well as preliminary floral and theme decisions. We also strongly recommend that you determine your overall budget for your wedding cake prior to consultation. If your cake budget is undetermined, please contact us prior to consultation to evaluate our predetermined pricing packages. This collaboration will determine and promote a complimentary and successful understanding of any budget requirements and/or restrictions and ultimately determine if the consultation and tasting appointment should resume as scheduled.

If you desire to purchase a full-color rendering with 3-Dimensional details of your designed wedding cake prior to construction and the contract stage, please provide a check for $185.00 at the tasting/consultation appointment. After completion of the color board , you will be invited in for approval before advancing to the creative construction stage.

Maybe I’m naive, but especially in this economy I don’t think wedding merchants can afford to alienate potential customers. If my daughter and I wanted to bring her groom (well, fiance) to the cake testing, actually one of us would have to stay home?

My comment when I saw this site: “I bet we’d have to take out a second mortgage on the house to afford this cake.” And, as an experience old mom, I say life is too short to spend it dealing with irritable artisanal cake creators who assume you are not worthy of their artistic creations.

If you plan to separate the mother of the bride from a whole lot of money, you better be at least a little bit friendly and welcoming.

I’ve been busy figuring out how to film videos of our wedding ensembles and posting them to YouTube. So far, the venues have been kind of noisy but it’s really fun! Here’s a Pratie Head video from St. Patrick’s Day 2009 at the Broad Street Cafe, it’s about a sweet young woman who wants to marry her sweetheart, a soldier, and follow him wherever he must go.

For more of the new videos see the Pratie Heads Youtube channel.

And then I used my camcorder to record a Mappamundi concert in Flat Rock (at the Hendersonville Chamber Music Concert series) last weekend. Here is a video from that show; it’s a Sephardic song called “Una Noche Al Lunar,” about a woman who misses her sweetheart, but knows they will soon be reunited.

For more of the new videos see the Mappamundi YouTube channel.

What do you think?

I’ve been showing this page to so many people I thought I might as well post it here. These toppers cost more than $2,000, but look at the detail…