Weddings in North Carolina

Last summer Bob and I (the ) were part of a folk music retreat at this venue, the Shared Visions Center. It used to be the Murphy School, and it’s at the end of Murphey School Road (nobody can decide how to spell this, you’ll find it both ways in listings and on the GPS gizmos) in Durham. It’s about 8 minutes from downtown but it feels like it’s out in the country. It’s listed in the National Register of Historic Places.

Here’s what I love about it:
It’s old-fashioned but beautifully restored
It has handicapped access.
There’s plenty of parking.
There’s a big auditorium where we just held a concert for St Patrick’s Day!
It’s well heated and air-conditioned.
There is a kitchen and other rooms available for dressing, preparing, etc.
Jay Miller, who owns the site, is very helpful and accommodating.

We paid $200 to rent the hall for one night. You will just have to negotiate with him yourself.
Shared Visions Retreat Center
3717 Murphey School Rd. Durham, NC 27705
(919) 616-2190
nonprofit@sharedvisions.org
Jay Miller, President & CEO
Ebeth Scott-Sinclair, Associate Director

I used to do concerts in this space. The Durham Arts Council doesn’t present local music any more, but it does host weddings.

It’s a relatively inexpensive venue: from $410 to $684 for four hours, additional time pro-rated, but they do throw in two prep hours ahead of time and one hour of break-down time for free.

On their website you’ll find a detailed breakdown of the prices for various rooms.

The chairs are free, there are tables available to rent. You bring your own caterer. If you want hard liquor, you’ll have to pay $30 per hour for a deputy (one deputy for every 100 guests).

They claim parking is not a problem although they are in downtown Durham – on the weekends, the South Bank parking lot is available. There is a large parking garage adjacent with a reasonable hourly rate.

I recently attended a luncheon at The King’s Daughters Inn, a newly renovated facility adjacent to Duke University’s East Campus and Trinity Park. The Inn can sleep 46 and accommodate events of up to 70 people – maybe 100 for cocktails. You can book the whole inn if you like.

There’s parking on the Gloria Street side (pictured) and in front on North Buchanan.

Michelle Alarcon is the event coordinator. Phone: 919.354.7000 x203 Email: events@thekingsdaughtersinn.com

The parlor is one location used for wedding parties, rehearsals, and small ceremonies.

This sunroom is next to the parlor and the guests can spill from one to the other and through the hallway (next picture).

Rooms are $160-230.

We had our lunch in this room, the Brodie Duke Hall, which rents for $500 in the evening and $300 in the daytime. (I came back later to take these pictures and the room was set up for a business meeting.)

This dining room also rents for $500 in the evening and $300 in the daytime, as does the parlor/sun porch combination.

You can rent the spaces individually or reserve the entire Inn, which includes 17 suites, free tables, chairs, etc.

There is a commercial kitchen available – you bring your own caterer.

The King’s Daughters Inn 204 N Buchanan Blvd Durham, North Carolina

Another of my daughter’s reviews, Nawwaf Said of Jazmin mediterranean bistro (Greek and Lebanese food) catered her reception. I actually suggested Nawwaf because I’m a wedding musician who has played at a lot of weddings, and I thought his food was the most delicious I’d had at a wedding!

Catering: Jasmin Mediterranean Deli. Jasmin was fantastic. Let’s face it, as much as our family loves us and just wants to see us happy, they are also spending a lot of time thinking about what they are going to have to eat.

The owner of Jasmin, Nawwaf Said, handled our wedding catering perfectly. His prices were extremely reasonable and he gave clear and comprehensive pricing breakdowns for everything he was providing for us.

Although it’s clear he doesn’t have a lot of time to hang around waiting for business on the internet (he’s busy!) he answered all of our emails. He was flexible (we worked together on writing up a contract), accommodating, and responsive.

The food (the most important thing!) was incredibly delicious – the Mediterranean buffet Nawwaf put together was perfect for a hot afternoon. My husband and I didn’t get the chance to eat much during the wedding, so he wrapped us up several beautiful silver platters full of delicious food – grilled meat, hummus, baba ghanoush, tabouleh, etc – my husband and I spent the entire evening after our wedding stuffing our faces and groaning with happiness.

Ask Nawwaf to get his wife to make the dolma (stuffed grape leaves) for your wedding! They are to die for! I think he is trying to expand his catering business, so please, consider Jasmin for your wedding or any other special event

http://www.themediterraneanbistro.com/

Phone number: call (919) 469-1112 to talk to the catering manager.

Below, see another review from my daughter the bride. Her in-laws paid for the rehearsal dinner at this small, exclusive restaurant, which closed down for our private party – we had the whole place to ourselves! Amazing food and atmosphere and such friendly folks!

Rehearsal Dinner #2: Two nights before our Sunday afternoon wedding, we had a formal dinner for immediate family only at Bonne Soiree in downtown Chapel Hill. They did a fantastic job – we took over the whole restaurant and had a 5-course tasting menu with wine pairings. There are some serious foodies in our family and even they were impressed. The food was incredibly delicious and the wine was great as well. My family was talking about the food all weekend. Tina (hostess) and Chip (chef) were super friendly and they accommodated all dietary requirements. The only downside is that they don’t do email, so you will have to do all business with them by phone, fax, or in person.

Address of Bonne Soiree: 431 West Franklin Street, Chapel Hill, NC 27516-2319
phone number: (919) 928-8388

Here’s the third of my daughter’s recommended vendors; Saturday night before the Sunday afternoon wedding, she threw a party for everybody – in the back room of Torero’s Restaurant in Oak Creek Village. See below for contact information and a link to the catering menu (we had the event catered right at the restaurant, so there was no location fee!!)

Rehearsal Dinner #1: Torero’s Mexican Restaurant, Durham, NC. Okay, this calls for a little explanation – since our wedding was on a Sunday, we wanted to have a little bit of informal evening fun with all our friends, family, and especially so we could spend more time with the out-of-towners. So the night before the wedding we had a “rehearsal dinner” to which ALL our guests were invited.

We decided to have it at an informal Mexican restaurant where we could have a buffet and where guests could come and go as they pleased. This turned out to work great. We didn’t have any complex planning in mind for the evening, but the restaurant’s owner, Ruben, was happy to work with us on whatever we came up with. (I don’t think he does a ton of work by email, the best thing to do is just to call the # on the website and set up a time to meet with him).

We blocked off one of his back rooms with “private function” signs and gave all our guests wristbands to keep track of how many showed up. Ruben gave us an extremely reasonable rate for food and drinks. Everyone ate and drank, the kids ran around, and everyone had a great time. If you’re local to the Durham area, you should know that the Durham Torero’s has just this year moved into a new facility and it’s really fun, clean, spacious, colorful and festive. Anyone planning an informal event should consider doing it at Torero’s!!!!

Click here for Torero’s catering menu and prices.
Reuben Garcia is the manager – call him at 919.641.3872

Second of the reviews submitted by my daughter, who got married in June 2010 and was very pleased with her vendors…

Cake: Sweet Memories Bakery, Apex, NC. The cake was extremely tasty and Sweet Memories did a good job of working with the flowers that we brought them to decorate it.

(We had two bakers go out of business on us before, and we probably tasted 10 bakers in the Triangle area, so we were extremely happy that things worked out with Sweet Memories).

Many people mentioned to us that the taste of the wedding cake seems to be last priority at many weddings these days, but that the cake from Sweet Memories was as delicious as it was beautiful! They use real butter in their buttercream, not shortening (yuck) like a lot of bakers do around here. All real, fresh, ingredients and the cake was genuinely moist and not dry. We had a different flavor for each layer and they were all wonderful.

First of my daughter Hannah’s reviews of the wedding vendors she chose for her NC wedding…

Day-of Coordinator: Catherine Katz, Cherished Celebrations. I cannot say enough great things about Catherine Katz. She calls her job “Day Of” coordinating but she actually worked on our wedding for weeks – and when it actually happened, she remembered every tiny detail and took care of EVERYTHING.

She helped us figure out who needed to get paid when. She carried wedding props around (including fragile props and food items that could easily have melted in the 95 degree heat). She moved wedding guests to and fro. She produced a cake knife when we hadn’t even remembered we needed one. She put bride and groom in the right places at the right times.

She quickly won over my mother (this blog’s hostess), who was initially quite suspicious about whether a DOC was worth the money.

Most importantly, Catherine gave us the ability to actually ENJOY our own wedding – she managed everything perfectly. She was friendly and relaxed, which helped us enormously – when you and your family are all in heightened states of emotion, you need someone to keep cool. And most importantly, she gave us peace of mind so that we could just relax, FORGET about the logistics and have a good time!

My daughter got married in June and I’ll be posting her reviews of the vendors she used. But first, I thought I’d pass along some pictures and booking information and prices for the Washington Duke Inn. Hannah (my daughter) booked a block of rooms here for out of town guests, and they were very happy.

Recently, I attended a luncheon at this hotel and took my camera. I also got some pricing information for you!

This is what you see when you drive up. The approach is a long driveway off the pretty treelined road from Duke University.

The hotel facade is not very pretty, but who cares, you won’t be outside for long.

A bellman stands at the door at reception; he can help you.

Below, some interior shots. There are many small and large rooms for lunches, dinners, and wedding ceremonies.

Below, the luncheon I attended. The food was delicious! Beth Pendergrass is the Catering Sales Manager at the Washington Duke Inn & Golf Club – she is nice, smart, ingenious, and helpful.

Prices seem to run around $100-$162 per person as a package (see detailed information below). Very large groups can be accommodated. $1,500-$25,000 is the “a la carte” price of reserving various rooms. An outdoor ceremony itself is $2,000. For more information contactl Ms. Pendergrass; she has a very detailed and helpful booklet available for prospective brides and their families.

Address: 3001 Cameron Boulevard, Durham, North Carolina 27705
Phone: (919) 313-2185

I played fiddle at a family reunion this evening at The Farm near UNC campus (on Google maps it’s “UNC Chapel Hill Chancellor: Family-Staff Recreation Association the Farm.”

This Chapel Hill farm might be a sweet and very inexpensive venue for an outdoor wedding – or a the clubhouse would work for a small informal indoor wedding.

It might be even better for an after party or a rehearsal dinner. Tonight, the party had a pig-picking caterer.

There’s a clubhouse which fits 100 people and has a fireplace, a kitchen, bathrooms and a nice loft, and there are outdoor shelters. The grounds are nice and the location is quiet and rural. There is even a piano!

You need to be connected with UNC-Chapel Hill (check the Farm website, above, for details) but the low cost is great for the budget conscious: $120 for two hours with each additional hour being $60 more. They’ll clean up for you for $50 more.

Address: 1 Alice Ingram Circle, Chapel Hill, NC 27517-6084
Phone: (919) 962-3276

In these days of frugal (recessionista) brides, I’ve found a very affordable wedding venue. It isn’t elegant, but it’s clean, central, and right across the street from Weaver Street Market and Maple View Farms home-made ice-cream for your last-minute cheese, wine, food and chocolate sundae needs! As you’ll see below, it’s a great value, a very economical alternative for low-budget weddings.

I talked to the folks at the Carrboro Century Center, which is run by the town of Carrboro. They have a 4,236 square foot room which has a stage and lots of windows and is often used for contra dances and meetings – and it’s also available for weddings, receptions, after parties, etc.

The rate for weekend use, minimum of 3 hours, is a mere $276 dollars, additional time at $93. The kitchen is available for $32 per hour and there are four other rooms available for whatever you like, each $47 for two hours. There is a “food fee” of 5% of the total room rental cost. You can serve liquor, but if you’re not using a licensed caterer you’ll have to talk with them about insurance.

A big bonus – they have plenty of 60″ round tables and chairs free for your use, which saves a big rental fee.

The center is wheelchair-accessible. There is no dedicated parking.

Call Pam Kirk at 918-7365 – she coordinates the weddings.

Here’s something fun – you can check the Century Center’s availability online at http://online.activecommunities.com/carrboro/ (You would need a log-on account to actually reserve the room online but you don’t need one just to check to see if your wedding date is available.)

This is Catherine Katz of Cherished Celebrations; she is my daughter’s wedding coordinator. We have just met with her once, but the look of relief that broke like sunshine over my daughter’s face as she realized Catherine was going to be able to take care of everything was a miracle to see!

My daughter, her fiance, and I went to taste cake at the home of Lindsay Holland, just before she was giving a cake-decorating class. The cake was delicious. She works in Raleigh, Durham, and Chapel Hill, and specializes in fondant icing. The flowers on this cake are made of sugar! Reach her at tobaccoroadcakes@yahoo.com or 919-699-7891.

My daughter’s photographer got pregnant and realized her due date was around the time of my daughter’s wedding, so she got her fellow professional photographer Elizabeth Larson to take the job. (I took the picture above.)

Elizabeth met us at Duke Gardens in Durham NC recently to do some engagement photos. She said it might take as much as two hours but we were done in 45 minutes and her images are wonderful. You can visit them at her blog: Elizabeth Larson, wedding photographer in NC. I love the choices she made when posting to her blog, here are a couple of samples:

This comment on Snipes Farm as an outdoor wedding venue in the Triangle area (NC) was sent to me by a bride, with current prices for rental:

I absolutely loved Snipes Farm. I can see that you’ve already been there but I’ll share my thoughts anyway.

Robert Snipes doesn’t have a great memory and seems a little flaky but he was incredibly kind and patient, which goes a long way with me. He answered all of my questions and has put a lot of effort into making his farm handicap accessible. Also very very important to me.

He called us about 20 minutes after we left and was very concerned that he had forgotten to show us the upstairs. I’ve called him twice since then with specific questions and he’s been patient and informative.

It’s 2000 dollars for the weekend and that includes Friday morning until 9pm, Saturday until 12am and Sunday until 12pm for cleanup. That price also includes 12 60″ tables and 100 chairs. He requires 50% down, which seems standard. I also thought the little bridal suite was really cozy.

While I’m on the subject of outdoor weddings, there is something else to consider, besides weather: NOISE.

Unfortunately many lovely spots are unsuitable for weddings, in my opinion, because they are so near highways or other noisy roads that the ceremony CAN’T BE HEARD.

Think about it: the officiant faces the assembled guests and officiants are usually pretty good at projecting their voices. But the bride and groom are facing away from their friends and family. Trust me, you will not be heard.

Also, at many weddings guests and family members are asked to do readings. Very few of them have had training in projecting their voices, and so these carefully-selected poems and passages from the bible are heard by nobody whatsoever if there’s traffic noise. This has wrecked several ceremonies I’ve played at.

For instance, Fearrington House is a very popular venue for outdoor weddings. They have many indoor areas for rent (at very high prices) for weddings, but they also offer outdoor ceremonies. If you choose to get married at Fearrington and want to hold your ceremony outdoors, be sure to go there and pick your spot based not only on SHADE available at your time of day (if you’re marrying during the hot months) but also on NOISE LEVEL. We played at an outdoor wedding there one late spring and the wedding planner and bride and groom were roaming around frantically just before the wedding trying to find a spot that wasn’t under direct sunlight – then, the spot they picked was so noisy they might as well have gotten married on the verge of the highway and saved their money!

A wedding florist I know wrote this to me: “Have you done one at the Greystone Inn in Durham? The traffic from the freeway drowns out everything from the wedding. If they don’t have microphones, no one can hear the vows.”

I don’t recommend it because:

1. No cover in case of rain.
2. Everybody has to walk a long long way from the parking lot, down a narrow muddy unattractive path, to get to this spot. No alternative for people who have trouble walking.
3. Biggest problem: the site is near a big road and roaring traffic drowns out the softspoken young people.

IT WON’T RAIN is NOT a rain plan!!!

I first discussed this under the heading: “Brides Do Not Control the Heavens.”

Whenever a bride calls to hire us for an outdoor wedding,
one of my first questions is:
“What Is Your Rain Plan??”
So this is a common bride’s response:
“IT’S NOT GOING TO RAIN!”
OK, I say that’s not a rain plan.

Yes, it seems wasteful to have full tent cover if you’re having an outdoor wedding, which are otherwise very economical. Yes, tents are expensive. Yes, gorgeous tiny historic inns and houses are wonderful places to have outdoor weddings IF IT DOESN’T RAIN. But outdoor weddings can also be ruined…

… by intense heat – I played at one where the bride FAINTED AND FELL DOWN IN THE SAND and a friend’s contradance band played one in a tobacco barn in August where it was so hot – and odorous from the tobacco fumes – that several people got queasy and had to leave…

… by cold – imagine ladies shivering in their lovely wedding dresses and having to borrow the gents’ jackets INCLUDING the bride in her strapless wedding gown! …

… by wind – some friends were playing jazz outdoors when high winds knocked over a tent pole that was moored in a heavy piece of concrete and sent it smashing down on the pianist’s piano, narrowly missing his head…

I haven’t yet played a wedding ruined by unexpected snow or hail (I live in Chapel Hill North Carolina, after all!) but it’s not inconceivable.

Here’s my diary post from an outdoor wedding.

The weather was cold, grey, drizzly. Even in a long sleeve shirt and sweater I was cold – imagine how shivery were the bride, wearing one of those strapless wedding dresses so popular this season, and her bridesmaids, wearing thin flouncy maroon chiffon dresses with spaghetti straps (out from under several of which could be seen large, garish tattoos featuring, on one bridesmaid, bold multicolored patches floweringly blazoned CARPE on one shoulder-blade and DIEM on the other).

So everybody was late, late, late getting on site – probably hoping the weather was going to turn. So Jim and I were sitting in a light drizzle, the legs of our chairs sinking a little into the mud, playing for the few hardy souls willing to sit on damp and clammy chairs.

The huddled assemblage’s few desultory conversations were punctuated by anxious looks up into the sky.

We’ve been hired for a wedding at Duke Gardens in Durham NC. The Sarah P. Duke gardens do a rollicking business in weddings – they have a nice building (which my daughter will be married in this June) and they also have many BEAUTIFUL spots in the garden, a pergola for instance, which overlooks a lovely pool, where they book weddings in and out in 2-3 hour slots all day long. The problem is, the pergola and the other outdoor spots do not have any cover in case of rain.

Here are some comments people left on that blog post. The last one has a really good solution to this problem!:

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Brrrs. Not exactly dream weddings in the wet and cold.

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Loved this post. Some years ago my eldest daughter planned her outdoor wedding to take place on a bluff beside a mountain walking track and ordered a pair of 4WD buses to transport the guests out to the location. It rained! Fortunately there was a rain plan and we sat under a marquee at the nearby resort, but still shivering.

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This is so funny. I’ve sat through so many outdoor wedding in the summer in Texas. Folks, it’s really, really hot here in July! Even in September, honestly. We’re all shvitzing and the Rabbi says, “Don’t worry. I haven’t lost a bride yet! Someone might faint, but not the bride!”

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Just last night I was at a wedding, winter wedding near Jerusalem, outdoor chuppah. My friend and I went in, since our feet were frozen. So we sat at the table and shmoozed, sort of rude but much healthier than watching the ceremony.

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Fortunately, I’m an engineer and I never design anything without safety factors. I had an extra large tent WITH walls, two large propane powered heaters, etc. My wedding took place during a nor-easter, a few hundred feet from Lake Erie, and it worked out wonderfully! During a break in the rain, we got some beautiful photos by the lake with my hair flying and the water roiling behind us.

Review taken down by phone from a prospective bride:

“When the Hotel Europa opened in 1981 it was considered a very luxurious hotel for the area. Many other hotels have popped up in the area since then. The Sheraton corporation has spent millions of dollars renovating this property recently. It is a bland, beige modern hotel.

“The Europa ballroom (pictures) is quite large; the literature states it will fit as many as 690 at a reception and 460 for a banquet. There are lots of smaller rooms too.

“The hotel is located off 15-501 business quite near Chapel Hill; the traffic in that area is horrible now. There is a new super-roundabout thing that was supposed to improve the situation but actually I think it’s made it worse; I often go out of my way to avoid this area.

“I had a meal there recently; it was only so-so in my opinion. It’s not very nice outside, but you don’t hear the traffic noise when you get inside…

“Wedding packages, including chairs, tables, linens, food, punch, etc. are are $50-$89 per person – that includes a night for the bride and groom with champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, and breakfast. There are a lot of upgrade options including more expensive liquor.”

A lot of people have asked if I know how much it costs to have a wedding ceremony or wedding reception at the Carolina Inn in Chapel Hill. I investigated this when my daughter was looking for venues and below you see what I found out. I got the information from Ashleigh Collins; she is Social Catering Manager at the Carolina Inn; for more information, contact her at phone number 919-918-2766 or email her at acollins@carolinainn.com. The address: The Carolina Inn, 211 Pittsboro Street, Chapel Hill, NC 27516.

The Carolina Inn has got a wide range of room sizes. They can accommodate as many as 500 if the guests don’t have to sit down! The Hill Grand Ballroom (below) can seat 220 for dinner.

Here’s the floorplan of the Inn:

The Carolina Inn doesn’t charge for the rooms – there is no room rental fee per se. What they do instead is charge by the person/guest, and there are minimums. They book wedding receptions in two timeframes: afternoon (12-5pm) and evening (7pm-12am). The prices you see below include food, open bar for 3-4 hours, tax, service charge and labor. Obviously, you can’t bring your own caterer or do your own rentals. Their food is good.

You notice how there are three prices for each package? You can save money by booking in less popular months, less popular days. Here’s the breakdown:

1. Package 1 is the most expensive and includes the most popular times: April, May, June, September, October, December, and the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend.

2. Package II: March, July, August, November, and the Saturday and Sunday of Labor Day weekend.
3. Package III, the most economical: January, February, Fridays and Sundays, some holidays, graduation weekend, and football weekends.

Ashleigh wrote:

Our Food & Beverage Minimums vary throughout the year (based on demand), and vary based on the venue. The venue will need to accommodate your guests based on how many there are, and if you would like a plated/seated dinner, or a heavy reception style (these both require different amounts of space for setup).

If all the math is overwhelming, you can get an idea of what this will cost you by looking at these examples of rates at different times. The cost differential is based on the Package I, II, III as above.

Plated Luncheon Packages: Cardinal, Emerald ($77 – $92 per person)
Heavy Hors d’Oeuvres Luncheons: Tar Heel ($76 -$86 per person)
Mid-Afternoon Heavy Hors d’Oeuvres Packages: Carolina ($73 – $77 per person)
Plated Dinner Packages: Azalea, Pine, Magnolia ($99 – $142)
Dinner Heavy Hors d’Oeuvres Receptions: Piedmont and Dogwood ($94 – $139)

You can also have your wedding ceremony at the Carolina Inn, inside in one of the ballrooms or outside in the small or large courtyard. (If you book the outdoor space, you must have made your own alternate arrangements in case of rain. And yes, it does rain sometimes.) The cost ranges from a minimum of $1,000 to a maximum of $2,000.

Courtyard fees are reduced by 25% if a tent is rented. All rental items must be arranged exclusively through your Carolina Inn wedding specialist.

I took the following pictures at the recent Bridal Fair held in this Chapel Hill venue.